what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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