I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
