Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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