Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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