this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
