Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she pinky promised me she was 18
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sext me about skeletons
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
