im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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