The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
