Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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