he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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