I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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