she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize