she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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