you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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