what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
