ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
