Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
