i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
