Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
