also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
