I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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