Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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