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• (352): View more from Florida

  I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list

  (989): View more from Michigan

  haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you get good sleep?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So yes.

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