Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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