we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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