But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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