he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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