You work out of a Hotel?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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