She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so much tequila, so little girl.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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