Whod you bang
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
