I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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