I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
