R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the day after is always just damage control
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
