You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
