And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
