one word: firstdatebathroomanal
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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