She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
