You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize