I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
