What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize