the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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