apparently the secret to your success is patron
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
