weddingsv make me drug and hornr
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
