Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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