First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
