I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
