dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
