Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
