Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
