2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
