He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
