Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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