I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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