JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
