Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
