Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
is wine microwaveable?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
