i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize