The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Even my vagina gasped.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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