hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Damn victory sex feels great
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize